Driving by the book
One of my favourite ways to while away hours is in a bookstore and I recently whiled away in The Elliot Bay Book Company in Seattle. I worked my way from magazines (snagging two back to back issues of The Economist), through new releases, the business section, to discounted, used and children’s books. Cooking and home reno warranted some time, as did fiction, politics and writing. Psychology, education and family are staple topics for me. I was startled and pleased by how the section on aging has grown — and gratified to see many more books about managing aging alongside the ones offering ways to avoid aging.
Through my sessions, I have learned that talking about older people’s driving typically gets a rapid-zinger reaction. In Elliot Bay, I found a great book for my resource library: The Driving Dilemma, by Elizabeth Dugan. Though the legal and licensing regulations are American, the balance of the chapters covers physical, medical and emotional aspects of driving. Chapters 6 (Learning to Talk About Change) and 7 (Get Talking) tackle communication dilemmas, and the suggestions can work for zingers other than driving.
Hospitals and elders
Two conversations I had with older people last week touched on their concerns about losing family doctors to retirement. Their only option for care is to go to clinics and consult with a different doctor each time, eliminating any chance for a genuine doctor-patient relationship. The Vancouver Sun headline on Friday, Nov. 2, 2007 suggests the key to elder care is avoiding hospitals and features a soon-to-retire doctor who cares for frail, housebound seniors. The article (by Gillian Shaw) prompted conversation with a friend who works in health care and frequently sees people like those profiled.
An older person needing help, puts out a call — and waits. If they have family, they wait for them to make the long drive from the office to help, or to somehow squeeze space out of a demanding day. If they don’t have family or really good friends, their storyline is much tougher because our system isn’t set up to provide what they need. And instead of getting better, the system is getting worse. Our first line of defense will come, not from the formal system, but from developing our own systems with the people closest to us.
Change
I have five photos hanging above my desk, portraits captured 100 years ago in North Africa by Lehnert and Landrock. Some gaze steadily out of the frame, some expressions are hidden, and others glow with laughter and light. I also have photos of my father, mother, daughters and of myself as a child. Captured in photographic moments, the images remind me that while life always changes, part of us remains the same. A smile, tilt of the head, an energy that is yours and yours alone and that connects you to others: that is what will sustain long after we are gone.